She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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