Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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