i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
