Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
