Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
