Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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