hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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