i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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