PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
