haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
