Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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