Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
