I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I need a beard to bite.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
