I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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