Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
