I want to have your abortion
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
is that a dick in a sweater?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize