You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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