It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
