just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
