i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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