I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
