what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wish you could order shots online.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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