I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
