Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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