Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
