I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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