You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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