I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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