He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
