Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
