I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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