I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
