i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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