how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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