Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
