Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
