I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
