so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
