My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
