You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
