Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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