If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
