Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
