He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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