im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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