In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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