I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
