i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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