I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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