so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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