i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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