trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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