hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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