are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I didn't notice because vodka
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
