Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
