why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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