Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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