So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
