she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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