he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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