Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I cut my penus on the lid.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
