you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
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After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
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I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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