I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
