You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize